Be Happy

Hi all. I know I haven’t written here in a while but I’m trying to actually succeed with my first resolution. Not to procrastinate. I have been working hard to stay on top of things at work, maybe even getting things done a week ahead of time. I have also been trying to figure out what to write about next. I have this entire list of resolutions that I want to work on to better myself.

I have just talked to someone that I care deeply about. He is having a real difficult time with everything in his life and having trouble figuring out what to do to fix it. He is at the point where no matter how much love we throw out at him or how much advice we give him he is stuck. I want to be there so bad for him. But I am in AZ while he is in PA. The thing is, I’ve been there. It was many years ago, when I was a senior in high school. I had lost someone I thought I loved, lost my place on the volleyball team and I felt like everything was going wrong. I was down about 6 pant sizes then I am now, and about 30lbs thinner. I knew something was wrong but I didn’t know what it was so I felt like I couldn’t fix it. I stopped eating mostly because I wasn’t hungry. My mind was always on other things that just spiraled out of control. But I got through things. I was able to talk to someone that was unbiased. I was able to say whatever I needed to say to get things out of my head. Don’t get me wrong family and friends did absolutely help. I was surrounded by love and happiness and people willing to help me in any way. Help me get out of the house and have fun or just be there with me. The things I used to get me out of that depression, I try to use every day. I try and hold onto the simple things to keep me going, keep me happy.

That’s what I try to focus on the most. What will make me happy in my life, then I surround myself with that. Lately I have been so super stressed about work and my move back home. It was so bad right after Christmas break that I had ribs coming out of place in my back. Crazy I know. My Chiropractor told me that I was too stressed. He said that I tried to have an F it attitude with the rest of this semester but I am the type of person that cant just let things go and I still work my butt off. So that contrast put my entire being out of place. He then told me that I need to start getting out and seeing the state. I need to see the beauty of Arizona before I move back to the east coast. So I am trying to do just that. I have researched where I can go on day trips, even if they are by myself.

Luckily I get a bit of home this weekend. I have a great friend visiting for the weekend. Then my parents will be visiting. And between those visits I plan to get out of town. I also try to focus on all the good things in my life. I have a job that pays me well and is giving me great experience. I have the most amazing friends here. They have always supported me with everything. They will be the reason why I cry so hard when I leave here. The weather is also finally getting hot. I mean most people reading this will think, you live in Arizona its always warm. But last weekend it was finally bathing suit weather. Lying by the pool, getting a tan and reading has always made me happy. Then there is my family. Not matter what decisions I have made or where I have moved they have always and I know will always be there for me. I can not go more then a few days without calling one of them. That is happiness. I just want to make sure I grab onto that and never let it go.